Have you ever seen a grumpy dog? I’m betting that you’re a lot like me and have not. But there’s a real strange phenomenon on DK that shows how grumpy cats really are. Now I’ve ALWAYS supported animals on DK, especially small furry kind, but lately there are a LOT of negative comments. Look, sure cats have been perfectly-tuned for catching mice hiding in grain pyramids, having nine-lives politically, and most have more catnip than they can count. Yet, Pootie supporters seem very unhappy, which is very odd. If anyone should be grumpy, it should be Woozle supporters. Dogs don’t have any real advantages other than energy when it comes to dinner time.
Pootie privilege exposed!After taking a while, but the Woozle taunting, trolling, and endless distractions like chew toys and balls being tossed around, often by front pagers no less, I’ve come up with my opinions why Pootie people are so grumpy, even though they have every advantage here and everywhere:
Front Page Pootie trolling hapless Woozle. Hairballs: Let’s face facts here. Licking yourself to keep clean is disgusting! Licking yourself covered with hair leads to hairballs, which then need to be “acked-up” on the carpet. Yech! Litter boxes: Cats are required to poop in specially designated “free poop zones”, while dogs get to do their business where ever they want, but preferably outside… on Republicans’ lawns. No “free poop zone” for WoozlesGarfield: seriously, while dogs get “Joe Cool” Snoopy, Marmaduke, Clifford the Big Red Dog, and the acerbic Fred Basset, Pooties everyday have to convince people that’ they’re not really going to continue in the lasagna-loving, spider-hating ways of the previous Garfield “Fat Cat lovin’” administration.
Former President Garfield’s anti-Woozle policiesJealousy: Even though Pootie people will laugh, there are so MANY things about Woozles and their people to be jealous about. Pooties don’t have a TENTH of the energy a single Woozle has in its paw. Woozles actually don’t stand around pining for catnip, they get out and do stuff like catch balls and frisbees. Woozles are happy and Woozle people are happy people. Pootie people are really just a bunch of posers and fakers.
Pootie domination is inevitable!So, there it is. Pootie people have the world at their feet and just begrudge Woozles because dogs can wag their tails and are “Man’s best friend”. Plus, if Pooties win, what will happen is there will be eight years of catnipulation and meowing. Bark my words.